It Was All Going So Well...

The amount of drama happening in my life right now is beyond ridiculous. It's not even about me, it may massively affect me and my life in general, but it also has the potential to quite literally change the rest of my life.

And I'm pissed.

Unfortunately I cannot post about exactly what the problem is because it's not my problem to share, but I can very vaguely explain my situation in regards to this. The best overview I can give is that someone close to me (let's call them X) made a decision that has bitten them in the ass. Hard. I found out about this a while ago but couldn't do anything about it for various reasons. That was a couple of months ago, before Christmas.

Flash-forward to present day and X has informed a few other people of the situation and they are trying to lend a hand and come up with a solution.

(That's the best I can do I'm afraid)

So what's my problem in all this? Well because I'm quite close to X I'm constantly being asked my opinion on the situation, which is fine because I basically don't have an opinion at this point in time. I've sat with the information for long enough that I realized that it's actually none of my damn business and X is entitled to do whatever they damn well please. However, I am also being asked to "report back" about any further information that X may or may not provide me. Here's where I start having issues.

I am incredibly loyal to the people I care about. It's just who I am. I hate breaching boundaries of trust and if I'm informed that I have done so I will apologize profusely and make a genuine effort not to push those boundaries again. I refuse point blank to "report back" with any information regarding this because, although the outcome of it could drastically change my life (which isn't an exaggeration, it could potentially change my life entirely), it's not my decision to make and ultimately my opinion doesn't matter.

X now has to make a further decision, based on the outcome of the original decision, and this is where it gets complicated. I have given my two cents; I have gone through the pros and cons of multiple different options that are available and I have also provided myself as a sounding-board for further discussion on the whole topic. That is as far as my involvement goes. Of course I have my own opinion on what the actual outcome should be, but because I realize that my opinion is based largely on me being selfish (largely, not entirely) I have kept that opinion entirely to myself.

Other people - not so much. There were two people in particular (Y and Z) who have been very vocal about their opinion on the subject. They, like myself, have said that X is the only one who can really make a decision on how to proceed from here. They, again like myself, have looked at the options, weighed up the pros and cons etc. What they've done, which I didn't, is give X a complete run down of EVERY LITTLE DETAIL, even going so far as to set up meetings without X's knowledge or consent.

X has been almost too laid back about this, but is stalling massively on making this last decision that needs to be made. In all honesty, there are only 2 options really available. Personally, I'm leaning more toward solution B than solution A because it makes so much more sense. It's faster, easier and, most importantly, it would have the least drastic affect on my life (not to mention the lives of my family). However, Y and Z have recently stated that solution B is the least acceptable decision to make. They have said that going forward with solution A is going to be the best long term, that they will assist in the day-to-day practicalities of putting it in place etc etc (which they fucking won't). In response to my argument in favor of solution B (which by the way, is the solution that X is currently leaning more toward) I was told that my opinion wasn't valid, that solution B would prove to be a massive mistake, that X would never actually go through with it, and that if X did go through with it, it would change their relationship with X.

Now, I've had my issues with Y and Z in the past, we have a lot of different opinions on many different things, but I genuinely thought we would agree on this. I was sure that they would jump behind solution B and start pushing. When in actuality, they're firmly behind solution A and are blasting solution B with a flame thrower. This has put X in a really awkward position where they don't know what to do. The opinions of Y and Z matter a lot more to X then they do to me, but that's because X is closer to them personally than I am. However, I'm still over here in my corner firmly in the camp of "Do whatever you want to do, whatever you think is going to be the best decision in the long run, just MAKE THE FUCKING DECISION AND PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR MISERY!" (Of course I'm not going to say that to X's face, but that's where I'm at).

I should probably mention one other person (let's go with V for this one, 'cause why not). V was informed of the situation at the same time that Y and Z were, or close enough to the same time anyway. V's entire response was the single most blood-pressure-raising response I have ever heard. Let's just say there were tears and "why does it have to be you? Why can't it be me? Everything is so unfair!" (I swear, if I could tell you the whole situation, you'd want to punch V as much as I do). While I have acknowledged the fact that the outcome of this whole thing could drastically change my life, I'm generally fairly happy to go along with it. If solution A is what is chosen, then I'll go with it. Even though it will most likely mean me having to move (like, out of the country), if it's what X decides to do, well then that's just that. If solution B is chosen I won't have to move just yet and X can figure out what they're next step is going to be after the fact. V, on the other hand, has not stopped complaining about X and the whole situation. V is being completely judgmental and selfish about everything. They have to be included in EVERY discussion about the topic, even though, in all likelihood, they would be the person least affected by either outcome.

We have now reached the point where X really needs to make a decision (any fucking decision) by about Friday (it's currently Sunday) so that they will have the time to get stuff organized and arranged (regardless of what decision they make) in such a way that they're comfortable with it all, because at this point - that's all that matters. Y and Z are pushing hard for solution A, I'm just waving solution B on a flag in the background (because subliminal messaging totally works), V is completely wrapped up in their own little world, and X doesn't seem any closer to deciding on what exactly is going to happen next.

Everything is in limbo at the moment, I'm being pulled in about 20 different directions between this, trying to find work, trying to have something of a social life, trying not to strangle various members of my family on a daily basis, and a list of other stuff.

There's also a whole other load of stuff that I literally can't even mention because, as I said, I can't actually talk about what the situation IS, and it's KILLING ME.

Tl;dr I hate it when I'm close to the center of drama, it's the most stressful thing on the planet and I'm very close to ripping someone's head off over it.


#sendhelp

(Side Note: With all the editing it took to make this at least somewhat readable, (without giving away too much of what's going on) it has taken me an hour to make this post. It is now 03:16 and I have to be up at 08:30. Fuck.)